Let’s face it – we all have our days when we just don’t feel “ON”. The smallest thing irks you, you feel any obstacle is like climbing Mount Everest or you simply can’t seem to get your hand out of the cookie jar.
I had this feeling after a recent trip. I was on a high when I came back: feeling invincible, with an “anything is possible” mantra in my head, ready to take on the world. Within what seemed like a split second, my thoughts took a 180-degree turn: “Who am I? What am I about? What’s my purpose? Can I really do this? Why am I feeling this way? I shouldn’t be feeling this way”.
Crisis Dana. What do I do?
I stopped myself before I wound up in an even more of a rut and had a little chat with myself (I do that quite often):
“Dana, what you are feeling is normal!”
Thanks self.
Everyone experiences these funky moments in life. Yes you, who thinks is the only one that ever feels this way, is not alone. Even the people that you idolize who always seem perky have these days.
In society, we are taught to accept only the good. When things are going well, awesome – keep going and blowing through your action plan and high fiving everyone you see on your way to achieving your goals. When things are not so good, we are taught to minimize how we feel, be numb to what’s happening inside of us, try and “get over it” and put on a happy face.
Does trying to get over it and sticking on a happy face truly get you out of your funk? I don’t think so.
Here are 4 steps to get you out of your funk:
1. Be OK With Not Being OK – The first step to changing how you feel is to literally STOP and RECOGNIZE that you feel the way you do. It seems trivial, but ask yourself how often you’ve truly accepted the emotional state that you are in. The reason we suffer is because we think we shouldn’t be feeling the way we are feeling. By allowing yourself to feel whatever it is that you feel, you are giving yourself permission to not be OK. It’s this moment of clarity that is the catalyst for a change.
It looks like this: “Crap, I feel like crap. Yes, I Dana feel like crap.”
You can do this by yelling to yourself in front of the mirror or with your eyes closed; taking it out on the 200lbs you’re about to lift, or by simply engaging in self-conversation while hibernating under the covers.
2. Commit to a deadline – You are at choice. Know that you are choosing to feel this way. Nobody can get you to feel a certain way; they can only push your buttons and you then interpret it as pain. Like the rain, your feelings come and go. It is up to you to decide when you are willing to shift how you’re feeling. Give yourself a timeframe:
“I am going to give myself 1 hour to feel like crap, sulk, get in my PJs, eat a pint of ice cream and watch boob-tube” or “I am going to give myself 5 minutes and then I’m going to choose a different feeling”.
Commit to the deadline that you’ve established and don’t back down.
3. Vent – Sometimes, simply being OK with how you’re feeling and giving yourself a deadline works. Oftentimes, it’s not enough and seeking outside support is useful and recommended. Pick up the phone and call someone you know will listen to you without judgment and opinions. This can be in the form of your best friend or a life coach:
“I am calling you to vent. All I’m asking of you is to listen without judgment and not hang up. I am not asking for your opinion. In order for me to get clear of what I’m feeling I just need to let it out and I feel most comfortable doing that with you”.
At that point, let it all out! You are unhappy, doubting yourself, hating your boss & feeling fat – Great! Feel it!
4. Create A New Reality – The funny thing about us as humans is that because we choose our feelings, we also possess the power to change them at any given moment.
Think of children. They get angry and throw a tantrum; they let it all out and then 2 minutes later it’s as if nothing happened and they’re off playing in the sand.
Shifting your feelings is like building a muscle; it takes daily practice. Sometimes you have a not so good day of shifting your reality and other times you feel like a champ.
People who have mastered self-coaching are capable of recognizing their feelings and shifting them at a moment’s notice. If you’re experiencing challenges in getting out of the funk, I’d highly suggest you give yourself permission to be coached by a life coach. Their role is to be that neutral person in your corner, who is not in your personal circle and whose sole purpose is to lend their ear and support you in shifting your thoughts and feelings and propel growth. Priceless.
*Dana’s mission is to empower women worldwide to create the Fit Life that they deserve.
A sought-after Fit Life Coach, she has the innate ability to coach you in reaching your fitness goals and simultaneously drive you into discovering what you truly want in all areas of your life and directing you on how to get there. She is also the Co-Founder and CEO of fitID. Click here to inquire on how to work with Dana in-person in NYC or virtually*